I just got done watching the movie Fireproof. What a powerful movie!!! I sat at the end and just cried. I realized that half of the time I go through the motions. I am a wife a mother a teacher and a christian. I am not very good at any of them. I do what is expected and enough to "get by." I don't want that any more. I have felt like this for a while and I change for a bit and then go back to old habits. In October I went to Crusillo which was a wonderful experience and then a few months later I am back to my old ways. I do it in lots of ways. I try hard and loose weight and then a revert back. Why do we always revert back to the way we were before when we don't like ourselves when we are that way? I just don't get it. I desire to be better, to make my children's and my husband's lives easier and yet I don't. Am I really that selfish? My children and my husband deserve better. I deserve to give better. My students at school deserve better and my God deserves better.

How do we make changes "stick" whether it is weight loss or just revamping who we are spiritually. How do we make these changes stick? I love my job, my family and my life and I want what is best for my children and my family. I guess the answer really is pray. Pray for the changes to work pray for God to take control of my life and of me and to help me quit going through the motions in my life. Help me to change for the better and for that change to become my life. In the movie the main character makes a life altering change and his life if just opened up to him. I want that overwhelming joy because I don't have that overwhelming joy in my life. This movie touched me deep down. I want changes to occur but like weight loss and things like that I can pray for the strength but I have to do the work. I have to make the changes. Today is a new day and a time for me to make the changes that need to be made. I ask for the strength to do that. I ask for God to help me that is my prayer. So if you are a praying person then add that to your list of prayers for me. Pray that I can keep the changes. I can make them I have before, it is sticking with them that is the hardest. Pray that I can make the changes stick in my life so that my family has the best life espeically my children.

Take care and God Bless