This week has been awful.I have been extremely down and just pissed off. Sorry but that's how I feel. I am pissed at God because I feel he brought us down and here and just like the people who wanted us down here the most he turned his back on us. I am hopeless and just pissed.
Well the week started out on Monday and on Monday at lunch I was eating a ham sandwhich and choked, literally choked on a piece of ham. I choked so bad that I couldn't breathe!! I could get the ham up a bit and then back down it went. I was panicked and there was no one around. The only thing I could think of is "I am going to die and it will be my kids who find me!!" I remembered hearing you could get it up by using a chair so that's what I did. I threw myself on the back of the chair and hucked the ham across the room and it hit the computer screen on my desk!! After I could breathe again I saw stars and flashing lights. Then I was sore the rest of the day especially my throat. Boy what a scary experience I have never choked like that again. What a terrible way to go!
Anyway my mood is a little lighter today. I am still mad, but I smilled a lot more today and cried a lot less. Maybe it's this whole 38 birthday coming next week. Maybe it's all tied to that I don't know...all I know is God and I aren't (right now) on speaking terms. I have prayed for a change, for John to find a job, and for me not to be laid off. He didn't answer or heard NONE of those prayers! I feel he doesn't listen to me. So I am mad and scared. What's going to happen come July will God let us go through that month with NO money and by August homeless? Anyway it has been a horrible week. It's almost over two more days and maybe next week will be better. Please pray!
God Bless
Take care.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment