Answered Prayers.

I read my sister's blog today and I thought I would try and start one of my own. Her page is beautifully laid out and I already know mine won't be nearly as nice. This helps me to get my feelings that I keep inside out. I go through the day biting my tongue. Through this maybe I won't have to bite my tongue.

For the past six months I have gone through a really rough patch. I am a pretty upbeat person so staying with that persona I kept my chin up. In reality I was drowning on the the inside. I was overwhelmed and not sure what I was going to do next. One thing that I did do through this was pray. I prayed everday for help. Help for my marriage that was strained and being pulled, help for my husband to find a job and to feel needed again, help for my children to make it through this rough patch with little or no knowledge that it was happening. I prayed for help, just help. For months I felt my prayers went unanswered. I watch as people around me got huge prayers answered. This might discourage some people but I knew it was all in God's time. He was helping but not in the way I wanted. God doesn't work like that it's not in my time but his. I had to give all my worries, fears, and desperation over to him. Yes I was desperate, very desperate to get back on our feet and to get through this horrible time.

People would ask how I was and my stock answer was fine, just hanging in there. It wasn't until my principal pulled me into his office and questioned me about "being fine." Right then and there I let it go. I bet he had no idea that day when he called me into his office he would open pandora's box with me. He probably never thought he would get the flood of emotion that came with the simple question "are you ok?" No I wasn't ok. I was a wreck!! He sat there and listened, then calmly asked what he could do. What could he do? Pay our rent, impossible? So I told him no there was nothing but he lifted my spirits. He gave me the ok to feel the way I did. He told me it was ok for me to take care of myself and my family and put the job on the back burner for a little while. That honestly was the one thing I needed. I truly needed someone to ask me if I was honestly ok and to check on me. Most people asked about my husband. Is he ok? How was he handling it? Things like that but not about me. When I left his office that day I really felt a since of release and relief. I let go and started telling people I wasn't ok and that I needed help.

One week later my prayers for help were answered. Well honestly that Friday they were answered! My husband got a job, and things have turned around. My prayers for help were answered. I am estatic. I feel like I have a new lease on life. I am not feeling run down, or out of control any more. We are going to be ok. I think at the point when I couldn't take it any more God help me to get back on my feet. He only gives us what we can handle and I think he knew I was at my limit. That day though when my boss talked to me was my new beginning and from that it has been a remarkable time!

Well that is my first blog. I love to write so hopefully I can share my life with some people who mean a lot to me. Ones that will learn more about me and understand my feelings, fears, and ambitions.

Take care til next time. God Bless.